Temperate+Rain+Forest+Fiction

Geoff B. & Connor N. =Temperate Rain Forest Fiction Story=

 “The thing was slowly eating away my small intestine. Parasitism. What’cha gonna do about it?” Mary Poppins said in his gruff, scratchy voice. The raccoon with a peg leg and an eye patch was one of the three animals sitting around a bird’s nest on a massive kauri tree in New Zealand. Suddenly, a spotted owl named Kwee-Kwee flew up to the tree, and regurgitated into her offspring’s’ mouths. The other animals greeted her: Mary Poppins, Zoolander the duck-billed Platypus, and Gerard Way, the autumn Snowflake Flower.

 “What’re we talking about?” Kwee-Kwee asked curiously.   “Oh, Poppins here was just telling us about how he excreted a six-inch long tapeworm last night that tried to bite him.” Upon hearing this, Kwee-Kwee threw up. “//Baylisacaris procyonis,// I believe it is called. Right Poppins?” said way in his flat, monotonous, dark voice.   “Oh, that reminds me, and don’t ask me why,” said Zoolander the platypus in his thick English accent. “But I was conversing with a few platypi chaps of mine earlier today, and they told me the most remarkable story.”

  “In just this past week, a mad scientist living beyond the southern waves, in Antarctica, I think, abducted a platypus, a third cousin of mine, actually. He altered his DNA and mixed it with some of Godzilla’s, a Great White Shark, a Unicorn, and a puffin. He then somehow filled my relative with rage, and it went and destroyed Sydney. All of it. It ate a blue whale also, from what I hear. Whole.   “Shame, isn’t it? Such a beautiful city. Has anyone else been there?” Said the platypus. Unfortunately, none of the others had had the pleasure.  “What about you, Gerard?” Zoolander suddenly asked after a few more minutes of small talk.   Gerard Way, this whole time, was sitting at the end of the branch, constantly flipping his matte black hair, for no apparent reason.  “Well, I got this, like, thing going on.” Said the emo flower. “Called, like, mutualism, or something like that.”   “What?” everyone simultaneously exclaimed. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “Well, there’s like, these little things called, like, bees.” Everyone suddenly gasped. When finished, he continued on to say, “and they like, fly on my head, and like, pollenate me or whatever.” Everyone exclaimed, again, while he flipped his hair, again, before he resumed his ratherlame and un-extraordinary speech. “So, like, I guess like, he… uh… helps himself, and, like, helps me too, I guess.” He said. “So yeah.” The conversation drew to a close as he flipped his hair, once again. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “Ooh! All this mutualism talk reminds me of Gator and I have been doing! Right, Gator?” she exclaimed. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “Gatuh don’t care.” The massive tree yelled, in a tone quite uncalled for the situation. He called himself Gator. “Gatuh don’t care ‘bout little bird on his branch. But it help her, so it cool with me.” Gator was obviously poorly educated, if at all. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “See, I have all these little bird eggs that need a home, and without Gatuh, here, my little babies wouldn’t <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> have a home. Wouldn’t that be sad?” <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “Ah indeed it would,” Zoolander said in a sympathetic voice. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “But, luckily, I have a good friend here who doesn’t care what I do, so I’m nice and safe up here.” Kwee-Kwee said. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> And so their daily get together abruptly adjourned as one of Kwee-Kwee’s children began to cry. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “I have some more crayfish to eat.” Said Zoolander the Platypus. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “And I have some more sulking to accomplish.” Mumbled Gerard Way. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> And they all left, as Kwee-Kwee began to calm her sobbing offspring. <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="display: block; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"> “Goodbye ‘till tomorrow.” Yelled Gator.

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